I rushed into the house to check my Inbox. The “Hiiiiiii” is all that I wanted to check now. Earlier this day, I would have wanted to reply with an affirmative immediately. I did not mind being a fool to think that marrying a stranger would eventually mean I have moved on. But now, I did not want to hurry into anything. I let it stay while I thought of the day again. It was an intuition then and now, and I stood by it.
“He hasn’t moved on!” I just shrieked? I did. He so hasn’t and is going to make life difficult for Manjari as well? Do I step in? Do I try and help him sort out things? Do I help? Do I need to? I had no clue, till my hands ran over the text messages in my mobile and saw a text from him; “Got five minutes today? I owe you a response...” He should not be responding now. He should not be saying what I wanted to hear. He should not be saying what I did not want to hear as well.
I settled down on the sofa and thought of what I had told him last. I had told him I would be there for him, even if from a distance. He needs to know I am doing fine before he starts his new life. He needs to know or atleast believe that I have moved on. Have I? That’s for me to think. But I need to be there for him at the best party of his life. I cannot gather myself up to make it to the wedding, but a party, with a larger known crowd, I should really be able to manage.
I made sure I looked my best. I cannot believe I dressed up big time for an occasion I would otherwise not have considered changing from office clothes. I wanted to show that I am a different person now. I wanted to reassure him and myself that I am doing fine.
I knew the party hall upside down. I knew he would be inside the main hall thirty minutes into the party. It’s always safe to go late and sneak out early. The plan was clear. I just had to mark my presence and sport a smile and be back soon to get myself to my favourite sleep state wherein I don’t have to think.
I did drive late, I drove through the side entrance only shocked to see him wait there and still surprised to see him pace away when I got down. He sure hasn’t moved on and he definitely has the right answer this time. Question is, do I ask again?