In a world where self pride becomes the key to existence, ego is the safest weapon one can use. To prove "I am, what I am and I am all that I have", I probably am using it as a weapon of destruction, that kills a potentially dying friendship, if I can call it so!
He reports to me, in a totally different sense we report to each other every day and it doesn’t get any better. But within the four walls of the cabin or within the frame of professional work, I don’t think. I don’t question myself anything and even better, I don’t question him. I didn’t think till he walked out with his leave request approved. I didn’t want to confirm my worst fear of being the only one to have moved on. Moved on might be a superlative of something lighter I feel. It’s just that am not even in search of words.
I could have easily asked “Why?”. I had all the time, all these years, yet I hadn’t. And now, I cannot. It’s fair and simple. It would have been hardly two minutes since he walked out of my cabin without asking if I would be there, and I had already thought of all the responses I would have given if I were asked. I have always wondered if things would have been easier if I thought about it any lesser.
I stared at the invitation I had not opened. I knew the content inside too well. I knew this was coming and had prepared myself for it. I knew the day, time and people mentioned in bold and gold, inside the beautiful laced invitation cover and I wish I hadn’t known it this deep. This was not what he wanted, and I knew that as well.
It was like any other day, except that I had those extra two minutes of discussion with him. It was time that I got back to work and smiled at all the mails on my office laptop. Work makes me smile, for I can easily get lost in it without blaming myself too much about it. I had known the way to work around in this place and this level of comfort made life more convenient for me. I could choose to choose and opt to ignore anything and anyone at any time and however brutal that sounds, that was the best part of what I do here.
It wasn’t even eleven in the morning, and the day can never be longer! I knew I had to rush for a cup of coffee. Alone, but hot black coffee and the view from the balcony on our 7th floor cafeteria are the best company I could ask for. I needed that time off alone, and when I closed my eyes I could hear the music in my head. Doing all these alone, I had never imagined I would get addicted to! Am glad I did...