It was the perfect start to the perfect day. A warm sunshine by my window, with the mild breeze pushing my nylon curtains aside, waking me up from the deep sleep I was in. I walked down to my kitchen still smiling at what the morning has just given me – a brand new day in my life, a new chapter, a new episode. As the smile began to diminish came the strong aroma of the coffee, tickling every cell of my mind to get ready to face what’s ahead, to get started and get going.
Things have changed, after I had moved in, or I would rather say out! In - into my own world that I never knew of four years back. Out – out of others’ that I had always been a part of. Little did I think about this all these years, until I opened my Inbox, the only place where a conversation is called one even if it’s one-sided!
Amongst the pile of journals and online newsletters I had subscribed to, there was this outlier with a “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”. It was a familiar, too known a Hi, which I could never have missed. Instinctively I chose to ignore it for the rest of the day, it’s been a blessing so far and it had just started.
Clearly, I had missed something, I thought, as I checked my bag before I locked the door. I no longer run back to take what I leave behind, I have started to live without it, if I need to. It’s easier and I am fine with it. I thought for a second time, still chose not to recollect if it was my mobile that I had left behind that had a new message that I saw only later that evening.
I took the usual train to work and rushed in for the seat by the window, to stare at the parallel tracks alongside, all along the journey. And as thoughts rushed by, I pushed them off for a later part of the day, which I hoped would never come. I was running to the elevator at the office building when I did not notice my head automatically turn to the direction from where the voice came. I “know” the voice and my head just turned. “I wish I had said a yes”, he said. I thought I would choke, but words just gushed out before I could think. I’ve said, “I wish you had atleast said a no”! I really wish I had actually wished only that! We stepped out of the elevator to say the awkward “Bye”, and moved away.
It’s all part of my daily routine now, every morning, every single morning for the last four years! The mail I did not read and the message that lies unread on my mobile back home, are totally out my routine though...