Saturday, June 19, 2010

Somethings and Nothings - Part I

It was the perfect start to the perfect day. A warm sunshine by my window, with the mild breeze pushing my nylon curtains aside, waking me up from the deep sleep I was in. I walked down to my kitchen still smiling at what the morning has just given me – a brand new day in my life, a new chapter, a new episode. As the smile began to diminish came the strong aroma of the coffee, tickling every cell of my mind to get ready to face what’s ahead, to get started and get going.

Things have changed, after I had moved in, or I would rather say out! In - into my own world that I never knew of four years back. Out – out of others’ that I had always been a part of. Little did I think about this all these years, until I opened my Inbox, the only place where a conversation is called one even if it’s one-sided!

Amongst the pile of journals and online newsletters I had subscribed to, there was this outlier with a “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”. It was a familiar, too known a Hi, which I could never have missed. Instinctively I chose to ignore it for the rest of the day, it’s been a blessing so far and it had just started.

Clearly, I had missed something, I thought, as I checked my bag before I locked the door. I no longer run back to take what I leave behind, I have started to live without it, if I need to. It’s easier and I am fine with it. I thought for a second time, still chose not to recollect if it was my mobile that I had left behind that had a new message that I saw only later that evening.

I took the usual train to work and rushed in for the seat by the window, to stare at the parallel tracks alongside, all along the journey. And as thoughts rushed by, I pushed them off for a later part of the day, which I hoped would never come. I was running to the elevator at the office building when I did not notice my head automatically turn to the direction from where the voice came. I “know” the voice and my head just turned. “I wish I had said a yes”, he said. I thought I would choke, but words just gushed out before I could think. I’ve said, “I wish you had atleast said a no”! I really wish I had actually wished only that! We stepped out of the elevator to say the awkward “Bye”, and moved away.

It’s all part of my daily routine now, every morning, every single morning for the last four years! The mail I did not read and the message that lies unread on my mobile back home, are totally out my routine though...

11 comments:

Porkodi (பொற்கொடி) said...

aaaaaaaahh.. wait a min, my brain actually hurts! :) i feel i understood, but am sure i didnt.. or that is what it makes me think :D

on first reading, i really like the style! like i felt, it is indeed me forgetting the mobile and choking up later and all.. ;)

nightga inkoka sari read chesi osthunanu.. enna own anubavama? and also, you need to add a tag, is this a "story" or your "rant" or "what"! (opnions differ based on this too!)

Sriram Sundar Rajan said...

There are couple of gems --Ramyaisms

"Little did I think about this all these years, until I opened my Inbox, the only place where a conversation is called one even if it’s one-sided!"

"I wish I had said a yes”, he said. I thought I would choke, but words just gushed out before I could think. I’ve said, “I wish you had atleast said a no”!"

Ramya said...

@hema - kinda mission accomplished if thts how u felt.. bigger mission is to sustain tht!!!...

ofcourse fiction... hence tag added :) thnks for pointing it out :)

@sri - haha.. now u need to pay royalt to use these as status msgs :P

Kavity said...

Interesting style :)
Hoping to read more!

King Vishy said...

Totally mirror porkodi's thoughts.. "i feel i understood, but am sure i didnt" - lol.. sameeee blood! :)

But really nice style as has already been mentioned!! :) keep them coming!!

Ramya said...

@kavi - thkns.. will call.. wanted to find out a lil more on wht u thought :)

@vishwa - thnks pa...

mercurial queen said...

Hmm really intriguing I must say...Has kind of liberating feeling attached to it...love the start....wonder what makes thr character have nylon curtains specifically though.....

Is a story in which two people part...but thankfully there is no sad feeling at the end of it...just like how it meant to be..or sorry meant to no be in this case :)

Sankar Deiva said...

" I really wish I had actually wished only that" ..liked that line. Though the honesty and lucidness of the fictional character there kinda contradicts his/her preference to hide when he/she says "I thought for a second time, still chose not to recollect if it was my mobile"

Porkodi (பொற்கொடி) said...

part -II eponga release?

Ramya said...

@vandy - nice to see what all u hav observed and pondering on :) makes me think more

@sankar - :) thnks for pointin out..hope u got it right after our discussion.. waiting for u to comment earlier this time.. chk the new one...

@hema -out, chk the new one

pavithra said...

"I no longer run back to take what I leave behind, I have started to live without it"... beautifully written Rams! everyone's already said it.. i love the style.. good jod babes,,.. keep the interest going.. i'm sure you wont let us down...
and ya.. 'I really wish I had actually wished only that".. jus' love it.. subtle, yet striking!!