Four years and she has not asked me a simple “Why”. Maybe she had wanted to ask thousand such whys for all that happened, maybe she had asked and I had no clue she did, maybe she was tired of asking, maybe she knew the answers or maybe she didn’t have the question in the first place!
She smiled more than ever and said I could have the three weeks leave I had requested for. She should have asked more about it. She should have had more to say. She chose not to. Surprised, but happy she’s pulled through all this. I walked out of the cabin in less than two minutes. She’s not let me stand near her or for any longer. I have not let her think of a way to get rid of me every time. I have moved away myself. Like always, I just left. Surprised, but happy I have started to think like her, for her.
I had to wind up things at work and meet people in the office. Am leaving tomorrow and have a whole baggage to pack off. People were hanging around near my desk and plans being made for a party that evening. They wanted to make it the best party I could have ever been to. I smiled to myself and wondered when and how my memory grew sharper! I could now clearly remember the one party that shall always be my best, the one she had thrown the day before she left. That was when she had hinted and I had not realised she had. That was when I should have said a “Yes” or a “No”, for that would have made a difference and I would have still had her by me.
The seven of us were there and she was leaving the next day for her Masters. She had made me study along with her. She had even helped me out at work so that I could study. I did give her company in studying, but that was for her sake. As for me, I had other plans. I had my career chalked out. I knew what I wanted and what I was going to do. She had asked me a hundred times what my plan was, from the day our results had come. She was in and I wasn’t and she sure did know I had a plan. Our idea of career was different and we respected that when she had to leave. We wished for each other’s good and more importantly we knew we would still be the best of friends no matter where we go. That’s all that had mattered, atleast to me.
She asked me for the hundredth time that night when I dropped her off at her place. She asked me what I would do for the next two years. I had wanted to work for two years and then do my Masters. I told her that. She said “I wish you would come with me now, we would graduate together and that would make things much easier!” and smiled, suppressing a tear that could have made things clear for me then itself. That was the first time I saw her eyes yearn for something, but back then didn’t know they were asking me if she and I had a future. I hadn’t replied to her then. That was first of the many opportunities she gave me to respond. I failed to read that. I failed to read much more than that. Clearly, there was no line anymore, no thin line that demarked the boundaries. She had realised that and I should have too. We were meant to cross it together.
She went on to have an amazing twelve months and right through we were there for each other, distance has never made us far from each other and time just flew before we could realise it did. It was time I executed my plan and I had not hurried into it yet. Even before I could enter the next step, she was back. Only to ask me again what my plan was.
As I thought how much change has changed her, I noticed my mobile ring louder than ever. The plan for tonight’s party was confirmed and I had to be there by seven with my fiancée. I looked at my monitor and the tiny clock there showed it was time for lunch and I had another half a day to push through.